February is almost upon us. And always about this time of year, I start thinking about romance. Thinking about love—all those wonderful, warm and mushy feelings. And about the difficulties of those warm mushy feelings. Yes, difficulties. Let’s face it, there are times that guys are impossible to understand. But maybe it’s not all their faults.

According to Masters of Healthcare, “experts have discovered that there are actually differences in the way women’s and men’s brains are structured and in the way they react to events and stimuli.” DUH! If they’d only have asked me, I could have told them that. Every time my hubby scratches his head and looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind, I am reminded of just how different we are. Even if it makes perfect sense to me, he just doesn’t understand my logic. And frankly, I don’t understand his. And yes, we’ ve been married so long we shouldn’t have this communication problem, but it still exist.

Not long ago, people liked to believe that the differences between men and women were due to the way boys and girls are raised. Boys and girls are often raised differently, but behavioral scientists have discovered that baby girls possess social skills from birth. Studies on day-old babies show that girls stare longer at human faces than mechanical objects, but boys do just the opposite. Well, that’s no surprise either! My hubby still stares at mechanical objects (cars). So is it any wonder that women tend to communicate more effectively? We talk through issues and are more tuned into non-verbal cues like tone, emotion and empathy. Men, however, are task oriented, less talkative and have a harder time understanding those subtle emotional cues.

Take a moment and think about Kylie, Lucas and Derek. Who is the one sharing her problems with her buddies? Kylie, of course! She talks to Miranda, Della and Holiday. Meanwhile, Kylie tries to figure out what Derek and Lucas are thinking and how she should deal with them. Heck, if those two weren’t being so typically male, they’d just tell her how they feel and she wouldn’t have to guess. But that’s not how guys are wired. Instead, Lucas takes off leaving Kylie wondering and Derek gets all distant and polite, and then he takes off. What’s a girl to do?

Another prime example of a guy just being a guy is Perry. In Taken at Dusk, Miranda is going a little crazy. Does the shape shifter like her or not? And is she willing to throw caution to the wind and trust him again? And let’s not forget about the romantic conflict happening with Holiday. She’s determined to keep Burnett at a distance. Not so much for what’s he done, but for what some other guy did. Nevertheless, Burnett doesn’t understand Holiday and she certainly doesn’t understand him.

If only boys weren’t so much of a mystery. Ahh, but darn it, we love mysteries, don’t we? We love guys. And yes, we love those warm mushy feelings that come with love.

So, how is your communication with boys? Do you have trouble getting guys to talk and share their feelings? Do they roll their eyes at you when you start talking?

11 thoughts on “Differences

  1. I agree with you…the way we think definitely makes it interesting trying to always convince each other that we are correct in our actions or thought process. Its even worse when adding two A type personalities to the pot. As for your questions: since I’m a listener and don’t opinionate unless I’m being asked a question; I tend to communicate well with the guys. I think most folks women included will get bored and think you are too into yourself if the topic is always about yourself which will result to the rolling of the eyes.
    Holiday and Burnett are A type personalities; they are drawn to each other because they are attracted to each other and the fact that they can rile up each other. The constant bickering and neither of them caving in is just foreplay.

  2. That’s so interesting about the babies staring! The differences between the sexes is always fascinating. I read somewhere too that girls tend to dance around subjects while guys tend to just go straight to the point – which makes it difficult to understand each other. Guys think girls actually mean what they say (and the girls are usually just hinting at something) and a girl always tries to dig deeper than she needs to. So interesting!
    I love the relationships you’ve created in your books. Those kinds of problems between the characters are exactly why I love your books – because they seem like real problems and people!
    Great post and excellent books 🙂

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